Finding the Feminine: Cassandra and Intuition
I'm finding it harder and harder to hold back the "I told you so's." I know no one likes to hear it—I don't like hearing it, either.
I don't feel compelled to say, "I told you so," from a need to be right. Instead, it comes from being deeply frustrated that my thoughts and feelings (and insights!) have been disregarded.
Anyone who has raised teenagers will relate to the feeling. The teenage years are often when our kids refuse to listen to our guidance, yet they need it.
For many of us, the frustration with being ignored or dismissed did not start with our teenage children but rather has been something we've experienced most of our lives. This is often true for those of us who are deeply connected to our intuition. We often know things without any facts or evidence to back them up. We may sense what the future brings—it unfolds in our minds like a film. Yet, because our opinions don't make sense to others, or we are telling people things they don't want to hear, our words fall on closed ears. It feels like a lifetime of gaslighting—of being told that what we "know" to be true is actually a lie and that we are being ridiculous or crazy.
Sometimes those closed ears are our own, as we don't want to hear what our inner voice has to say. It tells us we shouldn't get involved in a relationship, or that we should change jobs, or warns us to be wary of someone who appears to be a friend. But unfortunately, our ego has already decided what it wants to do, and we often disregard our intuition to our detriment. We gaslight ourselves.
Part of parenting for me has been trying to guide my two children, Danny and Emma, to strengthen their ties with their inner knowing. I've encouraged them to listen to that place inside them that might not make sense to their rational minds but needs to be heard anyway.
Interestingly, one of the first ancient Greek mythic figures who caught my attention on my trips to Greece was Cassandra.
The god Apollo, enamored with Cassandra, blessed her with the gift of prophecy and insight. But when she dismissed his advances, he cursed her so no one would believe her predictions. She foretold the Trojan war and warned the people of Troy of the warriors hidden within the Trojan horse. If anyone had the right to say, "I told you so," it was Cassandra.
If the myth is considered from a metaphorical view, it provides further insight into the repression of intuition. In modern Western culture, intuition has been neglected at the expense of the rational, logical, and concrete, which Apollo reflects. Apollonian silences the voice of intuition if we only believe that which is fact-based or logical or has proof.
Apollonian consciousness certainly has a time and a place. It brings great information and knowledge, but it often comes from the mind and intellect, neglecting the wisdom of the body and the heart. Part of regaining the wisdom and the power of the feminine is removing the curse on Cassandra from ourselves and society in general.
The question is how to reconnect to other forms of wisdom beyond the intellectual and the rational. One is to pay attention to our bodies, the somatic. Often our bodies tell us the truth. We might feel our stomach drop or the energy drain from us when we consider doing something. We might get headaches or jaw aches, or some other body pains. Our emotions are trying to tell us something.
Our dreams are, of course, a way to connect to the non-rational. They provide us with wisdom our rational mind might not pick up on. Synchronicities do the same—if we honor the guidance given to us through meaningful coincidences.
Cassandra was raped by the warrior Ajax the lesser. He dragged her away as she tried to hold onto a statue of the goddess Athena. Furious, Athena sends Ajax to his death—in some versions of the myth, it is with the help of Poseidon. As the goddess of wisdom, Athena knows the value of Cassandra and is deeply affronted by the violence against her. The aggressive, unconscious masculine can damage our more sensitive, intuitive side. Our deep wisdom knows Cassandra needs to be protected and violence against her punished.
One thing I have learned (through the guidance of a very wise woman) is to follow my intuition even if those around me don't believe it or disagree. For most of my life, I didn’t act on my intuition if I couldn’t get other people to understand it. Like Cassandra should have left her doubters behind, often so should we.