Finding Your Calling

You are born with a character; it is given; a gift, as the old stories say, from the guardians upon your birth.

James Hillman

When my son, Danny, was seven, he asked me “Mom, what were we before we were born? Energy can’t be created so we had to be something.” We were sitting at London Gatwick airport on one of our many journeys from our home in England to visit my family in Montana. A few of the people around us in the crowded seating area looked up from their books and watched while I fumbled through a response to Danny’s question. It was one of many times that I failed at answering my children’s insightful queries.

As I have reflected on Danny’s question over the years, I realize that I do have an answer, albeit not one that is scientifically researched or supported. But it is one that is not dissimilar to many religious traditions. And it is one that James Hillman explored in great detail in his book The Soul’s Code, which was published the year that I was pregnant with Danny.

Hillman puts forward his “acorn” theory in which, like an oak tree has its destiny in its acorn, we are born with an innate calling in life that is unique to us. Our soul has a code. Our daimon, which is the Greek word for genius and guardian angel, chooses the egg and sperm that we are created from and the particular family and circumstances that we are born into. These aspects of our lives are an important part of growing our acorn into a tree. His theory helps us to move from being a victim of our childhood, to appreciating that our childhood provides us with the experiences that support us in our calling.

However, this is not the way that we usually view our childhood. Rather we spend our time blaming our parents or our circumstances for all of the bad things that have happened to us. This leaves us stuck. It also puts tremendous pressure on parents to be perfect and completely responsible for their childrens’ fates. This also leaves a child without a sense of agency.

This isn’t to say that some of our early experiences weren’t challenging or painful. It certainly also does not excuse any sort of abuse. But how we perceive our story, does influence how we move forward in our lives. As Hillman said, “Our lives may be determined less by our childhood than by the way we have learned to imagine our childhood.”

I, personally, found this perspective very freeing as have many of the clients that I have worked with. By reconsidering our childhood experiences, including our early wounding, as a source of our genius and calling, we can move from a position of victim to one of being re-empowered and moving on a path towards our calling, our vocation. The angel in this photo is from the La Recoleta cemetery in Buenos Aires. It is one of the most beautiful places that I have ever visited which seems strange to say about a cemetery, but the sculptures and mausoleums are stunning.

However, it seems appropriate to consider our purpose in life in the context of our death as death puts life in perspective. We are all here for only a finite time until we move on to some other form of energy. We should spend it in a way that serves our soul and the soul of the world. The angel reminded me of the Annunciation when the Archangel Gabriel came to earth to tell the Virgin Mary that she would be the mother of Jesus. Whether or not we believe that it actually happened, we can consider it an archetypal story of the call to vocation. We each have our own Annunciation. It may bring us great joy and also come with some challenges as Mary’s did.